The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
