You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i would punch a child for taco bell
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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