I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her