Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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  (704): I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead. http://tfl.nu/olst
  Replies (39) Good night (5571) Bad night (847)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.

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  (609): I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me. http://tfl.nu/wd99
  Replies (43) Good night (913) Bad night (5278)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real

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  (215): these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real http://tfl.nu/vc07
  Replies (62) Good night (8036) Bad night (1432)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

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  (413): my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out http://tfl.nu/0mnv
  Replies (13) Good night (8873) Bad night (1246)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game

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  (419): I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game http://tfl.nu/8vak
  Replies (5) Good night (3701) Bad night (1071)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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  (902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es
  Replies (7) Good night (2990) Bad night (1107)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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  (775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1
  Replies (25) Good night (6785) Bad night (1374)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.

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  (904): You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition. http://tfl.nu/ww1r
  Replies (9) Good night (2059) Bad night (733)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts

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  (715): i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts http://tfl.nu/loq4
  Replies (10) Good night (2291) Bad night (740)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  fair point

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  (630): oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us (1-630): fair point http://tfl.nu/efw3
  Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (978)
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  (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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  (530): My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra" http://tfl.nu/4lmh
  Replies (8) Good night (3877) Bad night (587)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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  (347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc
  Replies (4) Good night (771) Bad night (455)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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  (515): He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real. http://tfl.nu/6hyc
  Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (460)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.

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  (306): no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag. http://tfl.nu/bx17
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (317)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.

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  (832): We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight. http://tfl.nu/lfpp
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (961)

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