so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly