i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.