just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize