you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How's work?
Spinning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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