We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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