singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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