i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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