I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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