Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
