so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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