She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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