maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im holly from the hills drunk
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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