Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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