turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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