you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
