please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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