Apparently you make a good broom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
How's work?
Spinning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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