i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
