you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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