did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
