he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
