He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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