I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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