my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
the raccoons are back...
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