Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize