She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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