you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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