There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
