i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
