If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
