Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
