can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
