Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
