wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
