i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
