We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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