I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize