i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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