He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
