I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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