my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize