yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
