Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's the barista slut.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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