wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
