Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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