Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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