the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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