chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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