i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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