i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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