C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
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I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
what food is Colorado known for?