you have to choose: penises or morals?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis