I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.