Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There r osticjed everywhere
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
