Sponge bath it is.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
