She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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