i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
