youre lurking in front of me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
