So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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