Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
