who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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