What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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